How Dreams Become Nightmares



The night I totaled my car, I lay soaking in the tub, letting one image after another surface in my mind. A ton of metal and plastic crunching into a thick cement railing. Pieces of debris scattering the road. The hard-rock-playing police man with tattoo decorated forearms and a playboy cup warmer. After about an hour of the myriad of splintered memories replaying in my thoughts, I asked myself, why am I just laying here thinking about the same things over and over? In the same breath I answered myself, because if I don't, then I'll have nightmares about it.

In psychological terms, I believe I was "processing" or "working through" the experience, and if I had not, then my unconscious would attempt to do it in my sleep.

I've had my share of frightening dreams in my life, some of them recurring nightmares that took me years to shake. A recent experience gave me a new understanding of what might be happening when we sleep.

After having surgery on my feet my toe was very sore. All day I consciously kept it perfectly still to avoid feeling any pain. At night however, I would wake up almost screaming from sharp pain in my toe. After three or four of these occurrences I realized what my body was doing. As soon as I fell asleep, my body tried to stretch my foot, which I had kept rigid all day. My mother spoke of a similar experience after she broke her knee; she would wake to her body stretching her leg as far as it could, when she had been careful to keep her leg perfectly still while she was awake.

If we do not allow ourselves to come to terms with frightening or stressful experiences, if we lock them out of our daily thoughts, then they will surface again when our guard is down. Acknowledging our experiences in a nonjudgmental way: "What happened was frightening, but I survived and it's time to move on" might help our minds accept what happened. I believe associating memories with a strong emotion, like fear, anger, or guilt is what causes reoccurring nightmares. When a nightmare is so frightening that it causes new trauma, those issues are not resolved, and possibly made worse.

My advice for someone suffering from very vivid nightmares: let your mind relax and let the thoughts or images evoked by your dreams to surface. Accept them for what they are "That was a painful experience or stressful situation, but I survived it. I am stronger from living through it and I don't have to be afraid any more."


9 comments:

  1. I think you hit the nail on the head, Dani. I think a more familiar term for what you're describing is called PTSD - Post Traumatic Stree Disorder. I think anything detrimental or unsettling, whether it be fear, anger or what have you, must be dealt with otherwise it will haunt us forever. I'm very happy that you're okay. Your car is a mess :)

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  2. That is so true! I am just so glad you are okay, and believed me, you were lucky, judging by the picture. I enjoy your posts so much!

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  3. My sister had a very similar experience that you describe - once she "gave in" to the nightmare and processed it, she accepted it and it became meaningless.

    SO happy that you are okay, especially after looking at the picture of the car.

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  4. The toe (and your mom's knee) are perfect metaphors for this kind of working through. What an important post. You must feel a bit traumatized--what could've been--I am so glad you're okay.

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  5. What an interesting post! and your description of it is superb... I am glad you are fine and your nightmare has been put behind you. I agree with the fact that accepting and allowing to process things bring stability and peace. kudos!!

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  6. I think you hit the nail on the head! Glad to hear that you are OK after such a traumatic experience. Take care!

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  7. So glad you are alright, Danielle! It is odd, how something so traumatic replays in your mind--in slow motion. And each replay brings you right back to the moment and the emotions. Interesting analysis of the dreams becoming nightmares. :-)

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  8. I'm glad that you are okay! I know what you mean about those scary moments. I got in a car accident once, this woman t-boned me, but by the grace of God she hit the passenger door and not mine. And by the grace of God, the two children in the car with me were sitting on the other side of the car and they didn't even see the accident happen. It would have scarred them. I definitely had nightmares for a while until I accepted that it was over and things were okay.

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  9. What an emotional piece! I can imagine you lying in the tube pondering what exactly happened. I'm so happy you have survived the crash and only your toe was hurt. The adivce you gave at the end is very good.

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