Philosophies of a Young Heart

New Fiction 2012

New ebooks for Amazon Kindle: City of Silver and The Enchantress

CITY OF SILVER

[Science Fiction Novella]

Read a sample:

THE ENCHANTRESS

[Arabian-set Fantasy Short Story]

Read a sample:

Rewriting a book I first wrote when I was pre-teen has given me a unique perspective on how writing develops in a person who is serious creating fiction. I don't think non-authors can grasp how much goes in to writing a novel. Not only do I spend half my writing time researching, but I also work to continually improve my writing through feedback, edits, and critiques. Not that the stage I am now at is perfect, by any means, but I am amazed at how far I've come, even in the last ten years.

I'd like to share the main things I've learned as a participant on critters.org, Scibophile, and as an author and editor for Fantasy Island Book Publishing. I will also share a sample of CRAPPY old writing - and how I improved it.

Ways to Improve Writing:

1) Have someone who is not FRIEND or FAMILY edit your book, preferably hire someone if you have the money. There are so many things that authors miss in their own writing. It takes an outsider with a critical eye to catch them.

A good place to find an editorial service is through Publisher's Marketplace. They have a complete database:

http://www.publishersmarketplace.com/browse.html

2) Be aware of vague, redundant, and overused words and phrases. A fellow author told me recently about Pro Writing Aid, it's a web-based editing tool that alerts you to word choice and consistency in a selection of text you paste into it. I highly recommend it.

http://prowritingaid.com/Free-Editing-Software.aspx

(sample report from Pro Writing Aid - this is of a version of my book I wrote in 1997:)

3) Join a critique group. As I said above, my favorite two are critters.org - which is for fantasy and science fiction writers, and Scribophile, which is for anyone.

Critters.org

Critters is an email-based queue for science fiction and fantasy novels, and there are similar systems for other genres on Critique.org. You have to edit other manuscripts to keep in good standing, and wait some time as your chapter or short story goes up the list. It is time consuming, but if you critique ten works you get to move to the top of the list.

Here's what the queue looks like:

Scribophile

Scribophile is another online critique website, and you can set up a basic membership for free, but to be able to post more than two chapters at once you need to buy a premium membership.

You also have to critique other people's writing in order to post your own, whether you buy the premium membership or not. You earn Karma points by posting more detailed reviews.

I found you have to be very active on either critique site in order to receive a substantial number of reviews. Both places the fellow authors were very helpful, and all have varying opinions, which I will get into in tip #4

4) Above all, I recommend every author to make it his or her priority to find their unique voice, and stick with it. Editor, critics, beta readers can all have differing opinions. I often find that one sample of writing will please some, and elicit many suggestions from others. No piece of fiction will please everyone. Be true to the story you intended, and how you intended to tell it. Sometimes it's okay if you make someone mad, or break some rules. Try to find an editor/proofreader who understands who you are as an author, and your target audience.

Without further ado, here is my *fantastic* sample (haha:)

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Danielle Raver Author

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Have more resources to share? Please post them in the comment section! Thank you :)

My Bucket List

My mom suggested we both write bucket lists - ten things we'd like to do before we die - and then compare them. I wonder if she knew I would blog about it :)

So here it goes, my bucket list, in the order that I think about items.

1) Get a doctorate degree in clinical psychology, or neural psychology

2) Design a house that we will hire someone else to build, with a sun room, and a screened porch, a pool, a jacuzzi, a library, and a rock path garden (that's also energy self-sufficient using solar panels)

3) Finish and publish Flight Moon, my life's work

4) Travel to Europe and take a tour of old castles and ruins

5) See the mountains in Japan and China

6) Start a center to help children who are diagnosed with ADHD, ADD, or labeled with learning disabilities (Like the Arrowsmith school in Canada)

7) Research neuroplasticity and help reinvent the education model with the understanding that IQ is NOT permanent and "disabilities" CAN be overcome

8) See my kids graduate high school and start a field of work that they can make a difference in the world and find hapiness

9) Plant an orchard of fruit and hardwood trees and have field for horses

10) Live a long, happy life with my husband and family

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My Friends' Bucket Lists:

(None added yet!)
(Leave a link to yours in the comments and I'll link to it)

Tragedy Tarts - Recipe from Danielle Raver

Tragedy Tart Recipe

(Based on a mini chocolate tart recipe)

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Ingredients:

Brownie Mix

Three large eggs

1/2 cup Vegetable Oil

1/4 cup water

Nutella

Cherry Pie Filling

Chopped or Sliced Almonds

White Chocolate Bar

Mini cupcake liners

Mini cupcake pan

(available at Michael's!)

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

In a large bowl mix the brownie mix with the eggs, oil, and water. Dish out brownie mix 1/3 full for each cupcake. Dab a small amount of cherry filling, with no cherries, in the center of the brownie mix. Add a small layer of brownie mix to the top. Dabble a 1/2 a teaspoon of Nutella to the top of each mixture.

Bake in the oven for 10 to 15 minutes, until a knife inserted to the center comes out clean.

As soon as you take the tarts out of the oven, sprinkle shaved white chocolate and crushed almonds to the top. Push in one sliced almond to the top of the tart (like a sword through the heart).

Makes over 100 mini tarts. Note: you can put the cupcake liners onto a cookie sheet, but they won't be as nicely shaped if you use the mini cupcake pan.

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This recipe is based on the events of Brother Betrayed, a tragic fantasy novel by Danielle Raver. Find out more about it on Amazon.

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Alteration of this recipe by AJ Wheeler:

Instead of Nutella, fresh chocolate ganache frosting and confectioners sugar over the white chocolate shavings

(posted to Facebook here)

Cover for City of Silver

My fabulous cover artist Walt Barna has agreed to create the cover art for my upcoming novella City of Silver. I met Walt through the forums on Deviant Art.

Unlike the cover for my first novel, Brother Betrayed, I didn't give Walt specific directions for City of Silver. Instead I asked him to draw whatever he was inspired to after he read the story.

Here are is sketches and drawing in sequential order. I saved the best for last :)

Initial Concept Sketch

Walt chose to depict Benita, the main character of the story, sleeping. Benita doesn't understand why even though most people in the city of Argentar only dream a few times in their lives, she dreams every night.

Pencil Sketch

Excerpt from City of Silver:

Mom gives me a serious look. “I think it’s time you tell me about these dreams.”

I sigh when she sits with me on the bed. Feeling guilty – like I’m telling some secret – I scorn myself, knowing that it’s all made up in my head.

“Well, there’s this woman...”

Complete Black and White Concept Sketch

This version includes two figures on the top corners of the cover. On the left is Raven. Benita first meets Raven in her dreams, then he appears in real life as a guide and messenger. On the right is Jomicolis, the banished queen of Argentar.

Completed Cover

In the final version of the cover several important details come forward. The purity of the city is a core theme of the story. As far as the flowers, the shaded figures, and the floating girl, you'll have to read the story to understand their significance.

Available on Amazon Kindle!

Visit Walt Barna's Deviant Art Page
Click Here

Cool New Alternative Rock Song

I happened by this song by Jordan Parvex on SoundCloud this week.

Jordan explains his inspiration for the song was being hurt and betrayed by someone he trusted dearly.

Lyrics to Brother Betrayed by Jordan Parvex

you’ve got a look that can break stone
and an attitude like you're on a throne
you think you can rule the world.
you have these eyes that can pierce my soul
and instead of a heart, you have a hole
you think you can rule the world.

(chorus)

come on stop kidding yourself
your just a kid left on a shelf
and the worlds broken you down
you’re just their puppet now.

(chorus)

all that’s left of you is a hollow shell
you put a price up for your soul to sell
and now the world rules you.
you made a promise to never change
too bad your dead and we’re estranged
and now the world rules you.

(chorus)

(bridge)
you’re heartless
you’re soulless
you’re loveless
now.
you loved this
you’ve lost this
your broken
down.
so goodbye
to you
you’re one of them now.

(chorus x2)

Support this artist on SoundCloud http://soundcloud.com/bluesaintdead

Betrayed by a Brother

Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand.
~ Genesis 4:11

Early stories of brotherly betrayal have been ingrained upon our society's psyche. Like the biblical story of Cain and Abel, when brother betrays brother, the act is especially heinous.

Stories of brotherly betrayal survive in popular culture. In the recent movie Thor by Paramount, based on the comic book series by Marvel, the god Thor is betrayed by his adopted brother Loki.

However, the legends of Norse Mythology do tell of betrayal between these two gods. As the myth goes, Thor is poisoned by a snake, whom he fights partially due to the deception of Loki.

Loki is tied up by the gods and forced to drink the poison of a snake as punishment. When the poison falls on him, his body trembles, causing earthquakes, according to the Norse myth.

Another ancient story of brother betraying brother comes from Egyptian mythology. Osiris was tricked by this brother-in-law Set into a coffin, and was drowned in the Nile.

Osiris was later resurrected by his wife, Isis, after she found the jeweled coffin and put together the dismantled pieces of his body.

Jesus warned of brotherly betrayal when he spoke to his disciples before his crucification:

"Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child. Children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death."

~ Mark 13:12

Another biblical reference to brotherly betrayal comes from

Jeremiah 12:6

"For even your brothers, and the house of your father, even they have dealt treacherously with you; even they have cried aloud after you: don't believe them, though they speak beautiful words to you."

From Greek mythology, the ultimate tragic betrayal perpetuates the sad tale of Oedipus. Eteocles and Polyneices, the sons of the cursed Oedipus, vow to share their kingdom after Oedipus falls into grief.

The tale climaxes when Eteocles and Polyneices battle for Thebes, and kill each other in the process.

Tweets about being "betrayed by a brother"

Over the last month, I have collected tweets from Twitter.com that came up on the search of the keywords "brother" and "betrayed".

MaricelaGlez (: ‏ @maricelaa_G Why does my dog refuse to sleep with me? She betrayed me with my brother.

Lucifer ‏ @BunkBuddy come to that because that pesky brother of his would find a way to "fix him" and he did. By finding the other angel that betrayed him. =

Aj Velez ‏ @ThatKid_INKd Can't believe my own brother betrayed me the way he did ...

MaricelaGlez (: ‏ @maricelaa_G Why does my dog refuse to sleep with me? She betrayed me with my brother.

AMAdA ;) ‏ @Ehts_AMAdA My mom left to wallieworld with my brother i feel betrayed:/

Mary♥TW☺☮ ‏ @MaryThompsonxo_ Brother betrayed me and watched the final harry potter *le cry*

Ezra Capucion ‏ @jadeaezra Grabe. I feel like a betrayed Ate. My brother blocked me off facebook. I hate his girlfriend forever!! If I see her in this house I swear..

Rachael Wallace ‏ @RWallace20 Finally got to sunriver... It's so weird not being on Vacation with my brother #Betrayed

aileen  ‏ @aileenSAID Scar is a GDI ... He betrayed his brother in the worst of times

Shamiya Neely ‏ @lovelylooksz Lion King, scar betrayed mufasa. Legend of the Guardians, that one brother betrayed the other. These movies teach u can't trust family. Lol

Tifa Wirarini ‏ @tifa_wirarini Whoever advises his brother concerning a matter, knowing that correct guidance lies in another direction, has betrayed him.

Luther Carson Jr. ‏ @Luthaaa93 I feel so betrayed by one of my closest friends who I consider a brother smh

Lauren ‏ @LauTha_BOSS ive never felt so betrayed by my brother until now

❥cαяσʟ ‏ @Carol_xox Ryan Giggs is worse tho!! Prick!! Betrayed his brother. #LateLate

Sarah Alaimo ‏ @chickennugget8D And when my brother betrayed me I knew I was worthless.

Ricky Aviles ‏ @Rickyaviles3 My baby brother betrayed me!! http://pic.twitter.com/WXZHqyTy

Shanaka Perera ‏ @Shanaka_Shana Dear India, You badly betrayed your own little brother. Shame on you.............

Jenerator ‏ @_REFINNEJ_ My own brother betrayed me

$treet Runner$™ ‏ @ItsMeCoxx Brother Betrayed Me; Trust No One!!

chase hensley ‏ @chase_____1 betrayed by brother..

amanduhlanaee ‏ @miss_amanduhh I have a brother,but at this moment I don't feel like I do...#betrayed.

Lauren ‏ @LauTha_BOSS ive never felt so betrayed by my brother until now

On a Personal Note

Some of my favorite brotherly stories come from movies I watched as a kid. The relationship between the brothers in Legends of the Fall is fascinating to me.

Not to mention there's just something about Brad Pitt as a vengeful farmer-boy.

And in The Lion King, my heart hurt when Mufasa pleaded with Scar to save his life.

I enjoyed the movie Four Brothers, a movie based on The Sons of Katie Elder, and is the story of four brothers who seek to avenge the murder of their adopted mother in Detroit.